101 Facts about Bullying by Meline Kevorkian & Robin D’Antona

Author:Meline Kevorkian & Robin D’Antona
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781578868964
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

Fact #51 When bystanders look out for their friends, bullying decreases, and the school climate improves. (Elfstrom, 2007)

Gaining the Peaceful Edge . . . Adults cannot see everything; therefore we need to rely on bystanders to help eliminate bullying.

The average incident of bullying takes thirty-seven seconds! Because of that, it is impossible to expect adults to witness and intervene in every single instance. Most children who have been surveyed say that a large percentage of the bullying takes place in the classroom— right in front of the teacher. We are not implying that teachers are bad—ineffective or negligent. Rather we are saying that bullying happens so quickly and regularly that it is impossible for adults to catch every single incident. In fact teachers tell us that they most often respond when the bullying becomes physical—therefore leaving scores of verbal and bullying gestures unnoticed.

Teaching kids friendship skills is key to decreasing bullying. Also when a child has good friends they are less likely to be singled out by a bully. Every child should have at least one good friend.

Kids need to be able to know the difference between a close friend (someone who they spend the majority of their time with and can trust with their personal secrets), a buddy (team mate), and an acquaintance (someone they see around their school). Making these distinctions is important to help the child determine whom they can trust.

As adults, we need to model friendship. Children learn by observing, so we need to be friendly while at the same time valuing our close friendships. We need to be the type of friend that we expect our child to be. Kids need to have good friends and understand the value of those friends. They are then much more likely to defend those friends in the face of conflict with a student who is using bullying behavior to inflict harm. This will in turn contribute to the reduction of bullying and improve the social climate.

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